Imagine the freedom you would gain by saying ‘No’. Can you remember a time when you knew that you should have said ‘No’ but you didn’t and you were drawn into something you regretted or became consuming?
It’s OK to say ‘No’.
There will be may reasons you will have told yourself at the time to have said ‘Yes’ and felt it was the right thing to do when helping a friend, your child, a work colleague or even your partner. It is good to serve and it is good to look after yourself. We don’t like to hear ‘No’ and can find delivering a ‘No’ difficult in some situations.
What is the benefit of a ‘No’? Let’s explore;.
‘No’ sets a firm boundary.
‘No’ gives you the opportunity to qualify and negotiate.
‘No’ makes the other person find new ways to deal with a situation and enables their growth.
‘No’ allows you to stay on your path.
‘No’ conserves your energy.
‘No’ provides focus on what’s important to you
‘No’ is good for your mental health
‘No’ demonstrates self value
‘No’ leaves space for new opportunities
There are a lot of reasons to bring ‘No’ back into your vocabulary on a more regular basis, or use it way more often. Have you ever tried saying ‘No’ as your default for a day? Doesn’t mean you aren’t open to the requests, it does give you time to consider the idea or negotiate more on your terms. Your also letting that person know that they will need to do more to solve the problem.
It’s powerful.
I’m of the belief that a lot people are reactionary, they will jump in and help or take on things that makes them feel wanted, valued and fills a void. They have no real plan or thing to focus on and quickly fill their time with tasks that don’t serve them, long term.
Parenting is an interesting space to look at for the ‘No’ factor. Children need to hear ‘No’. It’s OK to say ‘No’, they will survive. They will be forced to find another way, become more resourceful, independent and develop self worth. From the parents perspective, they get some time back, get to watch their children develop and as their child figures that thing out, take pride in watching their little one grow.
Using ‘No’ in the workplace is another interesting one. Being clear on your workload, not inheriting some dickheads shit that sets you up for a fall and staying focus on your core tasks is key. It allows you to get home to your family or get to the gym, play that game with your team mates, get the rest you need and continue to be the best version of yourself. We will be living a long time and need to take care of ourselves along the way because before you know it, years have passed and you’ll be wondering WTF.
Use ‘No’ wisely.
Use ‘No’ to keep you doing what’s important to you.
Use ‘No’ as a tool, not a weapon.
Stuart Keith
Dad's My Hero 